Hello.

Hello.

This contains serious stuff, and also some humor which while it could seem inappropriate, is actually pretty healthy.

(And missed ya, g+…I don’t know what’s been up with you all.)

For the last three days, I’ve been with a very old friend and his family, helping him/ them with the difficult process of having his/ their mother/sister/aunt/friend die at home.

Having some training in hospice/sitting with the dying is very different when you know and love the person who is passing. This was that time.

During this time, I have been away from my family, swimming home to give quick hugs and touch in, brush my numerous teef and head back to be present…my friend really didn’t want to be alone, and attending to the actively dying can have some aspects and tasks that can be very scary/difficult/ biologically odd/and even alarming.

I give meds, clean, get fuds, and keep open to whomever needs to talk/rage/hurt/cry…even laugh and remember stuff.

I’m tired in way that’s hard to explain.

The woman who died was a mom I pulled my “Pseudo Eddie Haskell routine” with….I had various moms I attached myself to early on, and she was among the best and kindest of them all, and treated me like one of her own.

She always had at least 6 rescued dogs and cats (even a tortoise) and was a funny, bright, and endlessly giving person. It was an honor to know her, and be allowed to be among her family and people was a gift.

While being with them, I noticed there is a need for a new job in the bereavement industry…

Hospice Bouncer.

Sometimes when a person is dying, there is a phenomenon that occurs…people can behave in odd ways when a person is dying, and there a small percentage of people who aren’t really “core people” to the actual dying person or their family, and much like vampires, they come around and create drama and upheaval in an already emotionally charged situation.

Because the family is in a state of any of these states/emotions and frequently alternating between: shock, denial, pain, anger, confusion, and deep anguish, it’s very difficult for them to ask for what they need….including removing or reducing contact with said vampires.

Hospice Bouncer. I wouldn’t want to charge money for this service, but it occurred to me having someone who can calmly facilitate an diplomatic and speedy exit for these emotionally vampiric types is often very needed.

Some parts of the last three days, I felt like I needed a clipboard and a velvet rope.

/…..checks list…..

“Sorry, you aren’t on the list.”

I’m not usually known for my diplomacy or tact…

So I stretched that mental muscle.

Managing a good death can mean helping to keep a calm and ‘manufactured drama free’ area for the dying and bereaved.

Much more to this, however maybe in comments we can have some conversation about this…

Again, I remain uncharacteristically once again humbled and deeply moved by how death and dying CAN be poignant and, for seriously a lack of a better word here……good…even beautiful.

And a relief.

Here’s the part where I say cancer fucking sucks.

Here’s the part where I say being able to stay when someone or many someones are suffering is work of the most important kind.

Here’s the last part where I say let the people you love, even the assholes, the shenaniganizers, the surrogate moms and dads, the friends know you love them.

I do try to bite/eat some of you regularly, yet please keep in mind, in mah own toothy way, it’s because I love you.