Category: Bruce Shark

Dear humans:

by Bruce Shark, posted in Bruce Shark

Dear humans:

As the chosen spokesshark, I’d like to take a moment to address some stuff you seem to be worried about.

We actually don’t like the way you taste.

We aren’t looking to “attack” you.

Very few shark related injuries a year occur on an average…and usually they aren’t fatal.

Meanwhile, you kill MILLIONS OF US.

DAILY.

You are more likely to die: slipping in yer own tub, taking a selfie, battling a toaster, getting hit by lightning, getting injured eating, mosquitoes, car accidents, and of course when you kill each other, which you do A LOT.

I understand Shark Week can be cheesy, overly dramatic, and even sensationalized…I didn’t make the line up, and we have spoken to Discovery about their content.

But this is also true: largely, People don’t like facts..and many humans like over the top flashy click baity stuff…

How money is gathered/gotten for research and helping my kind is based on viewership sometimes….Dr. Chris Lowe of Shark Lab spent HOURS pouring over a script for some footage shot on Friday, and wisely took his red pen to much of it… because it wasn’t accurate.

Stop killing us.

Stop killing yerselves.

Signed,

-The Sharks