Dear internets catfish girlfrand:

Dear internets catfish girlfrand:

It was such a wild and intense relationship.

It felt like we really connected there for one sentence.

That part where you asked me to send a picture of mahself, and I did…

Only to have you become increasingly angry and bossy, demanding a better picture…

You don’t like that IMMA SHARK.

You don’t like that I eat seals.

You don’t like that I’m married, and very poor, and that I don’t think it will work out between us because I have seal bref, and I’m married and yea, poor.

So poor.

I’m sorry to see you go even if I’m the one who left.

Gud luck out there, catfish internets girlfrand.

Swim free, I release you.

All of mah feels, for reals,

-Bruce Shark

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