Category: Bruce Shark

You guys didn’t know I write poetry.

by Bruce Shark, posted in Bruce Shark

You guys didn’t know I write poetry.

Stupid poetry.

For a long time nao.

Here is mah epic ode to probable kidney stone at 12:58 a.m.

NO.

No no no.

Jagged cursed stone

No.

You shall pass, I chug water.

Pass.

Pass.

Go I command thee.

No.

No no no.

It’s really too gud, I know you are all impressed.

Please send tiny hammers and bombs to mah kidney.

Thank you

Dear internets catfish girlfrand:

by Bruce Shark, posted in Bruce Shark

Dear internets catfish girlfrand:

It was such a wild and intense relationship.

It felt like we really connected there for one sentence.

That part where you asked me to send a picture of mahself, and I did…

Only to have you become increasingly angry and bossy, demanding a better picture…

You don’t like that IMMA SHARK.

You don’t like that I eat seals.

You don’t like that I’m married, and very poor, and that I don’t think it will work out between us because I have seal bref, and I’m married and yea, poor.

So poor.

I’m sorry to see you go even if I’m the one who left.

Gud luck out there, catfish internets girlfrand.

Swim free, I release you.

All of mah feels, for reals,

-Bruce Shark